A Bad Man Lives; A Good Cop Dies

Written By: Marie Oszust

I have this friend.
And like a lot of the people I grew up with,
He didn’t always have it easy.
Seen his share of bad sh!t, lost some loved ones along the way..
But despite the hand life dealt him
He could always tell right from wrong.
Nothing in this world..
To shake him or his beliefs
And that’s why they picked him.
Isn’t that why they pick all of them?
‘To Protect and Serve’ despite the evident “Shades of Grey”?
Only problem is,
They don’t always stay that way, do they??
And for the same reasons they’re chosen,
They’re crucified.
On someone else’s stake.

KILL OR BE KILLED

Survival Of The Fittest, they say.
(Until recently,)
Never really having to place themselves in a position to be judged.
Judgement would mean mercy;
Mercy would demean accomplishment
And accomplishment would acquire a certain level of completion;
Completely committing to one thing.
Forcing them to pick one side.
And they don’t always want to pick a side, do they??
Clean Cop – Dirty Cop?
Loyal Peasant – Unfaithful Serpent?
9 out of 10 times, They want both.
Arrest the bad guy; keep the stash
Marry the wife; bang the girlfriend

STAGNANT

Spending most of their careers
Looking for something they can’t touch.
Searching for something they already own.
Going through the motions of what’s expected
Never realizing it’s a choice NOT a chance that makes the man

A Chance to put his life on the line every-day.
A Choice that places his life on the line every-day for those very same strangers (now) judging his every-move.
Regardless of every-right.
Always finding that one wrong.

And that’s what we do, isn’t it??
We find that one wrong.
And not only do we find it,
We pick it out, point it out and display it for all to see
Because suddenly it’s our (only) moral obligation to do so.

Instead of saying:

“OH, HEY OFFICER McSOANDSO.. I HEARD ABOUT THAT 47 YEAR OLD MAN RAPING LITTLE GIRLS. THANKS FOR TAKING THAT CHILD MOLESTING MONSTER OFF OUR STREETS LAST NIGHT.”

We say,

“I SAW YOU PARK ILLEGALLY! I SAW YOU SMOKE A CIGARETTE! I SAW YOU RUN INTO 711 TO GET A CUP OF COFFEE ON TAX PAYER TIME! SO I TOOK A PICTURE OF YOU ON MY CELLPHONE AND I POSTED IT ALL OVER THE INTERNET BECAUSE YOU’RE WHAT’S WRONG WITH AMERICA!”

Neglecting the fact that these people are in fact, human.
Sometimes working 16 hour shifts.
Willingly serving our cities..
Willingly surrendering their lives
for ours.

Knowing they might not see the end of day.
Knowing they might not kiss their wives or husbands goodnight,
Tuck their children in
Or even get that one last chance to tell their parents just how much they love them.

They’re not really like us, or are they??

Doing the best they can..
Fighting for a better life.
Fighting for a better future.
For you,
For me,
For our city,
For our children.

Yet, our focus shifts
And somewhere along the way
We’re the ones led astray by the kind of bullsh!t that demands respect by behaving dis-respect-fully.
Meanwhile it is solely our society depicting these individuals as heroes
Just high enough to crucify
Just high enough to plant seeds of doubt in their brains that soon spreads like wildfire.

Having them second guess every last step..
Having them second guess every wrong turn..

MURDERING the very same instinct that fundamentally knew how to distinguish wrong from right
The real reason they were chosen in the first place.

We steal their purpose.
We strip their pride.
We lose their trust.
We change who they are then wonder why they’re not
The way they used to be.
Why this world isn’t what it used to be.

Worst part is,
(Somewhere deep-down inside)
We know this.
Yet,
We still do it
And we still have the balls to ask,

When do the ends justify blue collar means?
The answer is: They don’t.

    NO ONE FROWNS UPON A DIRTY COP BECAUSE HE’S DIRTY. THEY FROWN UPON HIM BECAUSE HE PRETENDS TO BE CLEAN.

When does one man’s life become more important than another’s?
The answer is: Never.

    WE ARE ALL GIVEN A CHANCE TO MAKE A CHANGE. WHAT WE CHOOSE TO DO WITH IT IS COMPLETELY UP TO US.

We can never buy back time.
We can never buy back a life.
But a cop can give a life,
Serve a life
And protect a life.

Who are we to
Doubt a life,
Change a life
Or for any matter
Take a life?

NO ONE IS INFALLIBLE

People snap.
And not everyone who does what feels right
Knows what actually IS right.

It should come as no surprise that all that righteousness could get warped over time.
Years on the job ..
Seducing badge after badge
Into believing they’ve seen it all
And they’re probably right.

They have seen it all.

If not all,
More than most of us.
Everything that is,
Except for themselves.
Because somewhere along the way they were too busy trying to be what YOU thought they should be or simply because
They just stopped caring,
All together.

FULL-CIRCLE

Responsibility flees.
Nobody moves;
Nobody’s fazed.
The blood stops bleeding blue
And both sides completely miss the point.
Both sides dodging the only bullet that once mattered.

PURGATORY

A place I too would soon find myself in when..

I had this friend.
And like a lot of the people I grew up with,
She didn’t always have it easy.
Seen her share of bad shit, lost some loved ones along the way..
But deep down inside I really thought she could be the one.
I really thought she would be the one to re-write what’s so wrong with our system.

Little did I know..
10 out of 10 times
That one out of 10,
Dies.
In the line of fire..

Protecting the other 9 too scared to move.

nypdprotestwenjianliufuneral

“Good order is the foundation of all things. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

–Edmund Burke

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studio sessions

photo-2

Mediocre solos do 1 of 3 things:

Hide a story, sell your story or finish someone else’s story.
But the greatest of solos aren’t the ones that just tell ‘any’ story.
The greatest of solos reveal another side to the story;
The side very few people have the balls to share.
Unfortunately, I can’t hand you those kid.
Mainly because I don’t have ’em myself
But I can let you in on a little secret..
This in here *points to his heart* is the sole difference between talent and success
And that in there *points to band* is the difference between a coffee house in Williamsburg and Wembley Stadium.
Like life and in-love,
True strength knows it’s only as good as its whole
And without Commitment;
Commitment to a dream
Commitment to a sacrifice
Commitment to a greater purpose 
We can put it all on the line for this *points to studio* 
But without your Commitment to this solo,
nothing.
Its never gonna be something that comes easy to just anybody
Otherwise, we would all do it.
Nowadays, any yupster can download an app and learn to play the guitar by supper time
But not just anybody can stand in front of thousands of people, 7 nights a week and make everyone in that audience feel the same way they did the first time they heard the solo from ‘Free Bird’ or ‘November Rain’ kick in.
Why do you think guitarists like Slash are so memorable?
Because Slash isn’t afraid to destroy what destroys him
And he sure as hell doesn’t play that way because he had it easy either.
He’s seen life’s darkest hours and he’s still in your face, standing tall revealing HIS side, HIS truth, HIS-story.
He’s able to accomplish that solely because he’s an open vessel.
An open, RAW, talented vessel.
Eccentric hats may be his ‘trade’ but they are most certainly NOT his trade-mark.
This man of a few words knows exactly how to seduce you with just the tips of his fingers.
He feels things differently,
..we all do
We’re musicians, thats how we know its real.
Only difference between us and that crowd is our gift/curse;
The inability to turn it OFF.
But make no mistake in hesitating to use that switch before it uses you
There is no in-between
Especially when the time to make a conscious effort to do so is NOW.
Let your audience in by letting your pain out.
THAT’S what music’s about.

Those lyrics are calling for you..
No one in here is saying you gotta agree with them
And no one behind that glass expects you to either
But you can’t run forever.
Eventually, you’ll have to answer her
Because if you don’t…. Mediocre.
Now take a breather, finish that cigarette and when you’re ready:
GET BACK IN THERE AND MAKE THAT FUCKING GUITAR CRY! 

Written By: Marie Oszust

dear God,

dear God,

it’s been 3 years, 26 days, 14 hours, 32 minutes and 29 seconds since we last spoke..

(but really, who’s counting?)

still, not a breath goes by without something or someone reminding me of you.

its always in the most random of moments too..

like this morning, when my baby nephew smiled for the first time and for a split second — i saw your face.

sometimes, i really wish we could go back to that day..

that day you left me no choice but to turn my back on you.

maybe then if we would have come to some sort of agreement before things ended the way they did….

but i guess what’s done is done and no matter the circumstances,

i’m still not ready to forgive you.

my friends keep telling me “time heals everything..”,

i’m still waiting.

waiting & foolishly hoping you were the type of person who could agree to disagree.. but you’re not.

you’re ALL knowing, ALL mighty and ALL powerful.

is that why i can break down that stubborn wALL of yours?

don’t you ever think about us?

don’t you ever feel guilty thinking about what you stole from me?

how can you sit here and still promise ‘free-will’ based upon contingencies?

where i come from, unconditional love doesn’t have stipulations.

real love knows no boundaries.

come to think of it, maybe that’s the problem.

maybe somewhere along the way, you forgot where you came from.

you know, you may have died on that cross but i’m not the one who put you there.

that being said, i’m pretty sure this is the part where i’m supposed to tell you that i’m better off without you.

it may have taken some time but i finally took control of the wheel and pieced my life back together.

i even met someone new! (how’s that for faith?)

he’s loyal. he’s compassionate. but more importantly, when he said he would never pass judgement.. HE MEANT IT.

i feel like i can finally be myself around someone who loves me for me without living in fear of damnation.

wholeheartedly, i’ve never been happier.

it’s almost a shame you cant be here to see it..

either way,  i know you still hear it.

(you always were a sucker for people screaming your name.)

anywho, just wanted to let you know that i’m still borrowing your body

but don’t you dare come crawling back anytime soon for my spirit.

it may have been written, but this love will never come to pass.

sincerely,

Closure

PS: see you next lifetime.

barbie

Written By: Marie Oszust

Excerpts; The Gift and The Curse..

Day_And_Night

Excerpts; “The Gift and The Curse..”

 

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, I was a prisoner to uncontrollable circumstances and unpredictable people.

As an adult, I sought refuge in regimented activities reliant upon the company of emotionally unstable individuals.

For years I would misconstrue this false perception of reality for happiness and mock redemption as the self-deprecation of someone else’s validation.

Solely because it enabled me to break free from the co-dependent child I once was; a slave to confined chaos.

After nearly two decades of succumbing to yesterday doubts, the responsibility of future generations to come would soon speak to me in visions of the night.

Evoking the pretentious gift of conscious awareness, it was only then that I was finally able to relinquish control to the transpersonal conceptualization of manifested presence.

A presence that not only maintains objectivity through resolute manifestations, a presence perpetually surrendering to its surroundings.

Simulating diffractions from thousands of light years ago, THE BRIGHTEST OF STARS ARE THOSE WHICH RESONATE IN THE DARKEST OF SKIES.

By reprogramming my thinking to this glorified theory of restitution, I became the reparation.

I AM the light.

Congruent to my being;

Adjacent to the repetitious cycle history will inevitably try to break,

I fight for life but continue to surrender to circumstance.

And THAT’S the vast difference between survival and growth.

Differentiating what we were once told Love was from what we were shown Love is.

 

 

Written By: Sarah M. Oszustowicz

VG’s for VJ’s

Most_awesome_video_game_controller_ever-boobs

VG’s for VJ’s:

Growing up in a generation that was just starting to put its tip in the technology jar, twenty years ago I watched as my older brother glued his eyes (and ass) to a substantially sized machine that would eventually change the way our world looked at one apple.

Keyword here being “watched”, solely because my ovaries had no place in a world where juiced-up soldiers shot Nazi’s (Wolfenstein 3D), Kings found time to collect a bunch of useless shit (King’s Quest 1-7) and Amish people hopped on broken-down wagons (The Oregon Trail).

Instead, my genderation had FUN things. Fun things that mind-fucked us into believing in a whole shitload of delusional possibilities. Fun things that glued our asses to easy bake ovens and our eyes to false perceptions of what our bodies should look like (FUCK-YOU-VERY-MUCH, Barbie). And although that might have been enough for most girls, I yearned for more.

I still do.

Decades later here I sit, still watching (and waiting) for memories I’ll (most likely) never share with any of my fellow va-jj’s.

Dare I ask, How is that even possible?

Its 2013. Last time I checked, gender inequality was like a lit cigarette in a public restaurant; a figment of our 1980 imaginations!

Guys get to be road raging lunatics in Grand Theft Auto.
Guys get to be suited up assassins in Assassins Creed 3.
And almost every penis I know gets to be a fairy, a widget, a midget, a wizard, a witch, a bitch and whatever the fuck else hobbits get to be in a game that never ends (WOW!).

YES, I can play these games too BUTT to say that they’re depicted and portrayed with a female psyche in mind… horseshi!t.

Where were MY games back then? More importantly, where are OUR games now?

I want a video game that organizes my feelings.
I want a video game where Alexander Skarsgard is my husband and our babies make Angelina Jolie’s kids look like jellybeans.
I want a video game that lets me catch my soon to be ex-boyfriend in bed cheating on me with my soon to be ex-nanny.
I want a video game that lets me stab all of my co-workers with (FREE!) Christian Louboutin shoes.

I want…….

Menstrual Mania: The all-new, estrogen-packed, graphically-advanced video game about stopping your eggs from dropping, one emotional tale-spin at a time.

Join Jane Doe as she cramps, bleeds and ovulates all while finding the perfect outfit, the perfect nail salon and the perfect sperm donor. But it’s not all rainbows & butterflies thats gonna keep this pretty lady out of Ben & Jerry’s.. As she makes her way to the sperm bank, she’ll have to stand clear of home wreckers, mother-in-laws and Dr Phil. All of which will make her question her motives every step of the way. Oh, my!

Collect Lifetime movies for mood stabilization, sanitary supplements for hygiene boosts and gallons of boxed wine for agility.

“I Will Survive” Bonus Pack Includes: Oprah as your fairy godmother, Monica Gellar as your cleaning lady, Elton John as your gay boyfriend and Lady GaGa as your local butcher.

Downloadable Content: Nicholas Sparks trivia & 20% off at UGGAustralia.com

‘Menstrual Mania’, coming soon to an X-Box and Playstation near you.

((Thanks for the memories Sierra Entertainment… 1979-2008))

 

 

Written By: Marie Oszust